Learning to rest, resting to learn

Learning to rest.  And resting to learn.  

There are so many lessons in rest, but we can hardly be still long enough to even see and believe that.  I confess the season of rest has been difficult for me.  And many times along the way I have felt like I have failed miserably or been doing it "all wrong".  It has definitely been a place of finding a new way.  I am attempting not to beat myself up and feel condemnation, but instead experience the truth of the Lord's ever present grace as I learn. .....  to rest, and receive the lessons in rest.

I have been stopping recently to reflect on what God has been revealing to me.  I STOP this morning (on a beautifully rainy morning in my quiet and still home) and I am reminded.  Reminded of the truths He has shown me over the last few months.  
I praise Him for the things I now know  ...... the things that have made a transforming shift from mind to heart deep inside of me .....

My value is not on based on what I do or any "position" I have.   Not based on any recognition, being seen, or who I am to others.  I have value because I am His.  Redeemed and loved.  A work in progress.  Broken and beautiful.  One He treasures and one whom He lives inside .... ready to be shown through me.

I LEAD as I LIVE and follow Jesus.  That is enough.  I am a leader.   

Not being liked is okay.  If everyone likes me, I am probably not living boldly enough and brave enough.   My identity is not based on what others think of me.  I am secure in His approval, not others.  

I can survive the darkest of days and the deepest of losses.  Even when they are piled upon one another.  He holds me.  

His peace is available in the wildest of storms.

God's sovereignty can be trusted.  He knows what He is doing way better than I.   He can be trusted with my life.   I do not have to figure it out, just follow him.

His voice is the ONLY one worth following.

In quiet listening prayer we find his guidance.  

The light of life is found in experiencing the depths of darkness.  How hard it is to face the vulnerable feelings of pain and fear, but oh how much life is found right there in the places we try s0 desperately to avoid.  We know joy only as fully as we know pain. 

A quiet life is a powerful life.

Community is a GIFT from God. I can love community, but not more than I love God.  I must love God more than I love his good gifts.

I only want to go where He is moving.  May I continue to be sensitive to His movement and not my own striving.

My family is my first responsibility and ministry.  What a privilege!

We must always have safe places to heal and be loved as we find our way and do ministry. 

True things remain. 

I am not perfect at these things and I am finding absolute freedom as I learn.  I am tempted daily by identity traps and seeking control over my life.   I am learning to surrender.   Learning to relax in his presence as I rest.  As I STOP.  Stop being busy, stop controlling, stop seeing with my own eyes.  Stop avoiding.  Stop knowing for sure the way things are.  Resting requires a STOP.  Stopping to rest is a deep deep trust place.  Our eyes are opened to all the things we are dependent upon that are not worthy of our hope and trust.... not worthy of our dependence.   I am beyond thankful for this time to be still and be prepared for what's next.  I can become anxious with excitement and wonder as I think about the future, but for now I continue to REMAIN.  Attached to him as I wait for His release.