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HOME....

There is something extra sweet about home this morning.  Getting back into town after a vacation is usually enjoyable. Even after the most wonderful time away, home just calls us back to itself.  It offers us the familiar.  Back to routine and to life as we know it brings comfort and security.  Our trip to Florida last week was AMAZING, and so has been the returning home over the last 24 hours.   In seasons of grief and mourning and change and loss, HOME has an added sweetness to it. It is where true rest resides.  I appreciate, this morning, what my home has been to me over the last few months.  A refuge and a resting place.  A comfort to my weary soul.  A firm foundation in the midst of change.  A house of mourning and a house of healing. 

With all the goodness of home, we still need a break from it at times.  A break from the routine, the normal.  I tend to break open a bit when I get out of town.  I play a little harder, sleep a little better, relax a little more.   I'm often more patient and loving and gracious (so my family says)!!   We all hope that vacation will rejuvenate and refresh us.  It usually does, and it did this last week for our family. 

We caught waves and ran on the beach.
We learned to snorkle and we splashed in the pool.  
We slept and read.  
And read and ate.  
And ate and walked.  
And walked and explored.  
Explored and talked.  
Talked and cried.  
Cried and laughed.  
Laughed and remembered.  
Remembered and honored.  
Honored and shared.  
Shared and grew. 
Grew and loved.  
We loved each other.  We loved our time .... time as a family and with "grammy" and "papa".  We loved our Kate.  We loved the beauty of His creation under our feet and before our eyes. All of these things I speak of are just amazing gifts we were blessed to receive.  

We missed our girl though, so much, and it made it really hard at times.   I experienced moments of deep sadness and even anger that she was not there with us .... angry that I have to continue to be reminded that things are not as they should be.  Not as we hoped.  Maddened that we were preparing to spread some of her ashes on the beach instead of watching her feel the waves touch her little toes for the first time.  We would not watch her experience the wonder of the water and it's shore;  but we would instead ourselves wonder again, "WHY....?"

But I must choose to see ..... to see these hard things as gifts too.  Even the hurt, because it heals, and the anger because it releases.  Somehow in the midst I become thankful.  And as I do, I find myself returning.   Returning to the one who shows me the unseen realities of His Kingdom.  He shows me His comfort and His firm foundation.  He shows me how He is the ULTIMATE resting place and the perfect refuge.  He shows me how mourning in His presence can and will heal.   So I return to him .... so I return HOME.  

My physical home and the people in my life bring much joy, but nothing can compare to the HOME my soul continues long for ........ The HOME I find in His presence here on earth, and the heavenly HOME where my Kate resides.  Where she is enjoying SO much more that the ocean, so much more .............