My dearest Kate,
Yesterday was your 6 month birthday. It was a beautiful day here, as you know. We were so blessed to spend time with some our dearest of friends celebrating their son Alex's graduation. The Lynch's love you like we love you sweet girl. They are our family, not born of of blood, but of the spirit of God. They stand with us always ..... suffering, rejoicing, forgiving, patient...... they believe for us when we can't. They encourage and remind ...... remind us of where our HOPE comes from, the Maker of heaven and earth. Your maker. My maker. I stood at their house yesterday sharing stories with two other women who lost babies in similar ways to the way we lost you. I am sure you are running and playing with Brayden and Ellie. Their mommy hearts hurt like mine, even after 18 years for one of them. Tears rolled down her face as we talked about you both. A mother's love runs deep. Often too deep for words; only tears can communicate this love.
I am thankful, my love, for every tear shed for you. I would cry a million more tomorrow just to be close to you. It is a way to remember you and to hold you close to my heart. .... the depths of us reaching one another.
I have peace today; and for that I am thankful to our Lord who gives these sweet gifts. His peace passes all understanding. My mind cannot make sense of the suffering we are enduring. I will make myself crazy trying to figure out why and how and what's next in all of our broken circumstances here. So I trust. Over and over and over, I must choose to trust; and remember His faithfulness and how he has gone before us so many times in the last few months. He continues to anchor my soul when I so desperately just want you to be here and all things to be "right".
Missing you Kate. Today and for every day, missing you.
Love,
Mommy
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